Sad panda

Visual:

Bankbook:





Whenever you open a Korean bank account, they give you a bankbook. They're pretty nifty because whenever you go to the ATM, you can update it. So instead of getting a statement, you have this little book that details every withdrawal, payment, deposit, etc to your account. You can also use it to withdraw money, pay your bills (done at the bank), and maybe more, who knows!

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Everyone keeps asking me if I'm counting down the days to my departure, and I'm not really doing so.
Am I counting down the days to the end of my job? Definitely. 34 working days!
I mean, I love the kids. But the bureaucratic BS, my boss, the ridiculous extra work and lack of respectful treatment is not worth it.
The turnover rate is slightly ridiculous and I wonder why.
At the end of the month, there will be 2 American teachers leaving and 4 Korean teachers. That's 6 teachers out of 14. David just started his first month and I'll be leaving at the end of March.
In the office, there's been a new accountant every month for the past 4 and they're training a new woman now; at the front desk, one woman has stayed constant and the other is about the 3rd or fourth.
At least there are enough people to change into these spots?

I think part of the reason Mama Murph got upset in this morning's conversation was because I said I wasn't homesick.
And I'm really not. I was at one point, but then I got over it. It doesn't mean I don't miss my friends or family, I do, to an unbelievable extent. However, it doesn't really constitute homesickness.
It's sort of cyclical- in college, each year I pretty much had a group of friends and so I wouldn't get homssick. The first year was the roughest as far as homesickness goes, but the subsequent ones were much easier.
But in each year, like I said, I had a different group of friends. I had a few that carried over from year to year, but most of my relationships didn't extend past that year. After that sort of pattern, you find yourself feeling slightly disposable.
And now that I have this great group of friends here, who'll be here for months after I leave, and now that I'm comfortable, I'm facing the ultimate of saying goodbye to them.
So much of what has made this relationships is purely conditonal.
Never again will I be in that college situation, and though I may find myself back here, it's not guaranteed.
In a nutshell, I guess what it all boils down to is that I wish it weren't all so conditional. It is good that I have friends from all the different facets of my life that have drawn us together, but I'm not ready to say goodbye to another group and only have good memories and photos to hang on to. We're all bound to move on and grow distant, but I'm not really ready for that. It's a bit exhausting.